Not fighting.
May 27, 2008
A new person has joined our dojo community. What a pleasure…new faces, new wonderful Ukes to train with. This person has lots of experience and, I can tell, has been training for years. His technique is well-studied and he has a great attitude.
And he’s big. Not tall, just built. And strong. With attacks in motion, he’s wonderful to work with. It’s kind of like practicing with a live blade; when you see a strike coming with all the mass he has to deliver behind it, you move. NOW. For if you don’t, you’re going to get flattened.
The real challenge comes in his grabs. They hurt. Intentional or not, he clamps down extremely hard, and every time I’m paired with him on a katate technique, I simply take it as a given that I’m going to come out bruised.
So there I am. The fight within becomes a struggle between the heart-felt desire to welcome and train with every individual in the dojo without pause or hesitation, and the simple self-preserving desire to avoid this individual due to the dread of ending up with black and blue forearms.
The lesson I take? Not fighting. Our Path teaches us not to fight, but to move. To arrive beyond the attack before it comes. To not plan ahead, but to control and lead.
In this case, I make the decision to let my inner conflict dissolve away and take the situation as it comes. When sensei finishes his or her demonstration, I look down the line for the eyes of a partner to train with–to lend me their body so that I might learn. And should my eyes meet his, I welcome him, but with inner caution, for I know that he is a live blade.
In practical terms, I can talk to him and simply ask him to not grab as hard. Or I can move earlier and not let the grab fully develop. In any case, I have options. I have ways to take the fight out of the situation before that dreaded stalemate of pain occurs.
Aikido teaches us the lessons of the Art of Peace lie within everything, everyone and every situation. They are only there for us to listen and learn from them.
Here, I’ve learned control. I’ve learned to talk. I’ve learned to be brave enough to confront someone causing me pain–and still welcome them into my sphere again.
